MotherJana

Water is my wine. The earth is my body.

Saying Yes to Your Life

Do you know how to let go? I certainly didn’t, for a long time. I grasped on to everything tightly, like a kid gripping her bicycle’s handlebars. I thought that would keep me in control. Nothing would fail. Things wouldn’t go wrong, because I wouldn’t let them. Isn’t this cute? It reminds me of a boyfriend I had once who, when I told him that the relationship wasn’t working, declared, […]

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Falling in Love with Yourself

“Being single…. There’s a certain dignity to it.” –Janet Livermore, Singles, 1992 If you’re like me, you grew up daydreaming about meeting your other half. You looked up phone numbers of the boys you liked in the phone book and prank-called them. You went to bed at night dreaming of being held, or kissed, while you listened to the radio play bad songs by Guns-N-Roses. You thought everything would be […]

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God Is Not a Game You Win

“Oh, life. It’s bigger. Is bigger than you, and you are not me.” –R.E.M., “Losing My Religion”  “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” –Hamlet   I met a man once who said he was an atheist, but that if anything were to happen to one of his kids, he knew he’d immediately pray. He also spent his Thanksgiving volunteering at […]

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Changing Your Story

“For if we think of this existence of the individual as a larger or smaller room, it appears evident that most people learn to know only a comer of their room, a place by the window, a strip of floor on which they walk up and down.” –Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet So many lives, so many worlds, live within each of us, and most of us […]

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I Was Seventeen and Had a Car

I didn’t feel like I had a lot of freedom growing up. Most of the time, the only way I could take a deep breath was when I was reading a novel or listening to a good song. But when I was 17, I got a car. And I loved to drive. The thing about a car is that when you get in, you know you can go anywhere you […]

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Love a Woman

There is so much distrust in our culture about women. Not just among men, some of whom are afraid of women gaining confidence or power. (I don’t know many of them.) More often, it seems, the distrust for women comes from women themselves. We, as women, have been taught to fear and distrust ourselves, and those like us. Instead of reaching out and forming bonds, we’re a little sidetracked by […]

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Becoming Your Own Model

“Society makes our existence wretchedly difficult at times, hence our impotence and the imperfection of our work…. I myself am suffering under an absolute lack of models.” –Vincent Van Gogh, 1889 “What I want to discuss here is the problem of ‘authority.’ Usually we’re either an authority to others (telling them what to do), or we’re seeking someone to be an authority for us (telling us what to do). And […]

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