MotherJana

Water is my wine. The earth is my body.

Pray with a Hungry Heart

Trust that whatever is meant for you, will come to you. Trust that whatever lesson that needs to be learned, will be learned in its time.

I have gone through my life desiring so many things. I wanted to find my dream job, but it became more and more elusive. I wanted to find the perfect man, but he wouldn’t appear. I wanted my book to be published so I could call myself a “writer,” but I got rejection after rejection.

I wanted this, and that, and to get there. Once I get there, I thought, I’ll be happy.

I have gotten so overwhelmed with my wants and my desires that I look up at God and I say, What the fuck? What do you want from me?

And God pats me on the head and says, Aw. Sweetie. I love you, but some things are not meant for you. I only want you to be free. 

Two years ago, I went to a psychic because I felt so frustrated by the turns my life had taken. I felt like progress was supposed to be happening, but it was not happening in time. She knew things about me, and was highly intuitive. She was going to help. She was going to use crystals and say all these weird prayers, and fix whatever was wrong so that the good things would come to me. I waffled about whether to believe her, but I dove in and tried it. I thought I had nothing to lose. I had questions in my heart, questions about what was destined for me and what was free will, and I suppose I wanted them answered.

Then shit got fucked up.

And it was perhaps the best thing that ever happened.

I realize that I do not always know what’s best for me, or what my destiny is supposed to be. My mind is small and feeble. I want, and I want, and I want. I try, and I try, and I try. I’m always trying to get there, to that place of happiness and fulfillment. But what God has shown me is that there is no there. There is only here. Everything that’s right in front of you.

This is all there is. No future. No past. No promise of forever.

But when you open yourself up to wisdom, and Truth, and Light, you will see astounding beauty, and feel richer than you ever thought possible.

This, the present moment, your life just as it is, is where happiness lies. It is all a matter of perception, of stripping away the labels and expectations and desires and longings and seeing what truly exists.

So embrace the people you love. Dance in your living room. As Jesus says, Love the Lord your God with all your heart,  soul, and mind. That’s the love that always reciprocates.

And pray for the Light to heal you.

You will always get an answer. It might not be the answer you expect. But it always, always comes to the hungry heart.

And what God reveals to you will be more brilliant and beautiful than you ever imagined, as long as you can accept it and receive it with openness and grace.

 

“broken heart #1”by Alcino is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Categories: spirituality and faith

Tags:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s