MotherJana

Water is my wine. The earth is my body.

Holding on

For so long, my yoga training taught me about surrendering, letting go. When I lost a job I loved, I decided it was a chance to practice letting go, that I had to accept things that were beyond my control. But the lesson I’ve had to learn recently is not about letting go—it’s about when to hold on. My three-year-old daughter recently fell off the swings at the playground next […]

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Making Mistakes

I am trying to figure out how to forgive myself when I make mistakes. Not small mistakes—though those bother me, too—but bigger mistakes, mistakes that could alter the course of my life entirely. I made one last year, and I’m still living in the past, thinking and rethinking how my life would be different if I had chosen otherwise. In my professional role as an editor, mistakes are evident every […]

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Here And Now And Everywhere

HBO’s new show Here and Now, created by Alan Ball (of Six Feet Under and True Blood fame) captures the ins and outs of a wealthy multiracial family in Portland, Oregon. Do-gooder mom Audrey (Holly Hunter) worries over her grown children’s welfare, while the philosopher father Greg (Tim Robbins) is caught in the midst of a crisis of faith—if you can call it faith. The first episode shows Duc, their adopted Vietnamese son, working in his […]

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Are You Okay with Not Being Perfect?

I’m not. Okay with it. The cliche phrase is “your own worst critic,” and I certainly am. But I rationalize by saying I have high standards for myself, that I know what I’m capable of, and if I don’t live up to my standards, I’ll feel as though I’ve wasted parts of my life. One of the things that exploring yoga and other spiritual traditions has taught me is that […]

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The Strength You Didn’t Know You Had

There are some times in life you need to fall back on reserves you didn’t know you had, times you have to remind yourself what you’re made of. For me, giving birth to my daughter was one of those times. I gave birth to three children, and each birth was vastly different. The first birth taught me sacrifice–I had a C-section with my son, because I was too scared to […]

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The Marriage Chronicles

When I was married, I told my then-husband I wanted to write an anonymous blog called The Marriage Chronicles. It seemed like so many struggles married couples face happen silently, behind closed doors. You wouldn’t know two people who loved each other could feel so disconnected or suffer so much inside their pretty houses. Behind closed doors,  couples fought and questioned or lived separate lives. But on the outside, we […]

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Kill Your Darlings (And Other Tales)

Because we’re so bombarded by information these days, it’s probably safe to say we’re reading—or consuming, rather—more words than ever. Whether it’s status updates from social media, blogs, or news sites, we tend to click our way through the day, raising an eyebrow or sharing something we find interesting. But when it comes to creative writing, there’s a big difference between consumption, information, and art. In my own writing journey, I’ve learned a […]

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